It’s common to hear chatter about your colleague’s recent successful investment or what your neighbor believes is the next big stock. However, far fewer people talk about their estate plan with such enthusiasm. Estate planning is often reduced to drafting a will, designating beneficiaries, and filing legal forms, which is only part of the process.
In addition to the amount you will pass down, you need to consider how your wealth will impact your loved ones and future generations. Leaving as much as possible to your heirs may feel like the default option, but is it actually aligned with what matters most to you? Or will it create complexity, conflict, or undue financial risks?
Whether you’ve built your wealth through careful and deliberate planning throughout your life, or maybe “just” by a lot of hard work and a little luck, now you need to figure out what happens to that wealth once you’re no longer around. This blog post will show you how to prepare your estate plan with intention, taking into consideration your values, family dynamics, and legacy goals. Because when it comes to estate taxes and family infighting, luck will only get you so far.
What Is Intentional Estate Planning?
Drafting wills, trusts, and beneficiary forms is an essential part of the estate planning process. Intentional estate planning goes beyond the logistics to the “why” behind your plan. Before outlining how assets will be distributed, we recommend reflecting, either on your own or with your spouse or partner, on the impact you want your wealth to have. This values-led conversation helps inform your plan and ensure it aligns with your priorities and legacy goals.
Start With Your “Why”: Beginning the Estate Planning Conversation
The estate planning conversation begins with an honest dialogue about your intentions and expectations when passing down your wealth. Here’s what to keep in mind:
- Is your “why” truly yours? Your wealth will affect many people you love, so it’s essential to understand whether you’re planning with intention or being guided by parents, society, a friend, or another narrative.
- What does your family need? Every family has different needs and dynamics, which is why an even split or lump sums, for example, may work on paper but not in practice. Consider your heirs, grandchildren, and future generations, their earning power, financial maturity, how well they get along, and any lopsided assistance that may be required.
- What matters most to you? These conversations can help you refine your values and intentions, whether it’s fairness, opportunity, or another priority, to shape your estate plan.
- Are your heirs on the same page? Communication with your heirs, even in the early stages of drafting your plan, is key to aligning everyone’s expectations. Initially, we recommend sharing high-level plans with age-appropriate heirs to answer questions, clarify details, and gather input, such as whether they’d prefer a lump sum later or more sustained support now.
Proactive, ongoing communication is critical to help avoid family uncertainty and conflict. Many heirs have different inheritance expectations. One study reported that on average, heirs expect to inherit $335,000 from their parents, while 53% assume they’ll be financially burdened by their aging parents.1 Consistent, transparent conversations can go a long way toward reducing misalignment and preserving relationships.
Supporting Children and Grandchildren: Giving While Living vs. Inheritance
There is no one “right” way to transfer your wealth, because every family is unique. Whether you decide to give now, later, or both, generational wealth planning should reflect your values. Here are some factors to keep in mind when deciding:
- Giving While Living: You may value seeing the impact your wealth has on loved ones while you’re still living through:
- Helping your kids while they’re younger and building their financial independence, careers, and families rather than waiting until later
- Funding college, daycare, or private school for your grandkids through a 529 plan or direct payments to offer them more opportunities and security earlier in life
- Investing in memories and quality time, such as big family trips and other meaningful experiences, which may be more fulfilling than a lump sum after your passing
- Leaving a Larger Inheritance: Your giving may be more focused on leaving a larger inheritance for various reasons, such as:
- Preserving boundaries and avoiding dependency or regular requests for financial support
- Funding the lifestyle you’ve spent your career building toward, and leaving what remains to your heirs
- Addressing family dynamics, such as multiple heirs, blended families, or differing needs, that can create tensions or conflict when support appears inequitable
- Should we acknowledge that the most likely reason is that the reader is putting off thinking about this and they’re just defaulting to a lump-sum inheritance?
If you’re concerned about the tax implications of either decision, we typically advise clients not to overthink it. The annual gift tax exclusion allows you to give up to $19,000 per individual (or $38,000 for couples), tax-free as of 2026, which allows you the freedom to gift generously each year. But there’s no rush to give it all away in life, if you’d prefer not to. The lifetime gift and estate tax exemption sits at $15 million per individual (or $30 million for couples),2 which means most families do not need to worry about paying any Federal estate taxes at the time of death, anyway.
Start Building Your Estate Plan With Intentionality
Creating an estate plan is a great step toward creating clear, aligned intentions and putting your legacy wishes into motion. But just like a financial plan, it’s vital that you revisit your estate plan regularly to ensure it remains up to date with your preferences. Births, deaths, divorces, health events, financial changes may require updating your documents. When you take all of those potential changes and then factor in more technical changes due to changes in estate and tax law, it’s clear that your plan can’t just sit on a shelf for twenty years.
Financial planning isn’t meant to push you into a certain direction, it’s meant to allow you to say yes to what matters most to you. So whether you want to leave “just” the house, whatever investments are remaining, or a specific amount behind, the plan is just the tool to make your desired outcome happen. But you first need to do the hard part of thinking about what’s most important to you. Bigger piles aren’t always better, as we often say, which is why partnering with a financial professional to view your full financial picture can help provide clarity and structure.
Our goal is to help you transfer wealth efficiently, reduce infighting and confusion, and preserve your legacy. While we’re not attorneys, we work closely with estate planning professionals to ensure your estate and financial plans are integrated and reflect what’s important to you.
If you feel there’s a disconnect or it’s been a long time since you reviewed your estate plan, contact us to learn how our Financial Advantage™ financial planning process is specifically designed to help you move forward with intention. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
Sources:
1 Martin, A. (2026, March 9). 66% Of Young Americans Expect to Benefit from Great Wealth Transfer. Choice Mutual. https://choicemutual.com/original-research/great-wealth-transfer/.
2 Internal Revenue Service. (N.D.). (2025, February, 27). What’s new — Estate and gift tax. IRS.gov. https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/whats-new-estate-and-gift-tax#:~:text=Table_title:%20Basic%20exclusion%20amount%20for%20year%20of,2026%20%7C%20Basic%20exclusion%20amount:%20$15%2C000%2C000%20%7C .
